The Anxious Generation: Reclaiming Our Kids from Screens and Reconnecting with Life

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6EmBwTQF2Wd1TCil8ASL3R?si=11f9e5a547b34f28

The Oprah Podcast on Spotify with Jonathon Haidt about his book called the Anxious Generation

I was talking with a very cool 12-year-old boy the other day, and he was having some trouble with a couple of boys that were bullying him at school. I asked him what he did when he started to feel emotions like anger or sadness that were uncomfortable. He said, "I look at my iPhone until the emotions go away." This is exactly what we are modeling and allowing to become the norm for our children and young adults. Numbing, avoiding, and scrolling instead of feeling, processing, and healing. Thank you, Jonathon Haidt, for writing and speaking about the impact of phones, technology, and social media on our children and our culture. His recent conversation with Oprah on her podcast is a wake-up call we all need to hear.

Anxiety is an issue for so many adults, teens, and children these days. Why is this becoming our new normal? And more importantly, what are we doing to change it? Jonathon points out starkly that "giving a teenage girl access to social media is like giving her a loaded gun." These are deeply formative years — years of puberty, vulnerability, and tremendous growth. Most young girls already feel insecure as their bodies change, and then the comparative mind kicks in, measuring them constantly against filtered images and curated lives. The pressure is relentless and inescapable.

I was on vacation with my family last summer, and my daughter and her friend were on Snapchat, TikTok, and Instagram a lot. They had both just graduated high school and were heading off to college. In a quiet moment, I had a conversation with my daughter's friend, and she admitted that she wished social media didn't exist. She said she felt the constant pressure to keep up, to post herself looking beautiful and successful, and it was causing her real anxiety. What are we doing? What are we promoting and allowing? And what is the long-term impact on these still-developing brains? Scientists are only beginning to understand the potential for lasting damage from this much screen time during critical developmental windows.

Even as an adult, I notice my own push/pull relationship with social media. I see the value in staying connected with loved ones and sharing meaningful content. I also feel the tug of "building a platform" and promoting my work in the world. But I’m not blind to the darker side — the curated posts of "perfect" lives that we know, in truth, often mask private pain and struggle. Even if we’re aware, it still activates the comparing mind: Am I doing enough? Am I happy enough? Am I successful enough?

A dear friend of mine, a gifted therapist, starts every treatment plan for clients struggling with anxiety and depression by having them take a complete break from social media. And you know what? There's often an immediate, visible improvement in their mood and well-being. That says so much about the hidden toll this virtual world is taking on our real, living selves.

This is a conversation worth continuing — around the dinner table with our families, with friends over coffee, in schools, in our communities. We have to consciously choose to reconnect with the living, breathing world around us. Because when we lose our connection to nature, when we forget to touch the earth, to feel the wind, to listen to the birds, a part of our spirit falls into a kind of coma. And that disconnection can manifest as mental, emotional, and even physical illness.

So today, please, go for a walk outside. Put your bare feet on the earth. Breathe deeply and remember your connection to this beautiful Mother Earth who nourishes and steadies us. It’s not just good for you — it’s essential. And it’s the best medicine we can model and offer to the anxious generation rising up behind us.